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Lemony Snicket Quotes

Daniel Handler, an American writer, was well-known by his pen name, Lemony Snicket. Read on for some interesting and humorous quotes, which are sure to make you smile.
Dr. Sumaiya Khan
Lemony Snicket wrote many children's books, the most famous ones being the thirteen books under A Series of Unfortunate Events. Snicket's quotes have become famous, thanks to the adaptation of these novels into movies. They are bound to ring familiar to many fans of this wonderful series.
Witty Lemony Snicket Sayings And Quotes

"Reading is one form of escape. Running for your life is another."
"Everyone should be able to do one card trick, tell two jokes, and recite three poems, in case they are ever trapped in an elevator."
"Everyone, at some point in their lives, wakes up in the middle of the night with the feeling that they are all alone in the world, and that nobody loves them now and that nobody will ever love them, and that they will never have a decent night's sleep again and will spend their lives wandering blearily around a loveless landscape... 
...hoping desperately that their circumstances will improve, but suspecting, in their heart of hearts, that they will remain unloved forever. The best thing to do in these circumstances is to wake somebody else up, so that they can feel this way, too."
"If you are trying to fool a farsighted or dimwitted person, a veiled facial disguise might be enough."
"A passport, as I'm sure you know, is a document that one shows to government officials. They can learn who you are, where you were born, and how you look when photographed unflatteringly."
"Perhaps if we saw what was ahead of us and glimpsed the crimes, follies, and misfortunes that would befall us later on, we would all stay in our mother's wombs, and then there would be nobody in the world but a great number of very fat, very irritated women."
"One of the remarkable things about love is that, despite very irritating people writing poems and songs about how pleasant it is, it really is quite pleasant."
"It is one of life's bitterest truths that bedtime so often arrives just when things are really getting interesting."
"If writers wrote as carelessly as some people talk, then adhasdh asdglaseuyt[bn[ pasdlgkhasdfasdf."
"Composer is a word which here means a person who sits in a room, muttering and humming and figuring out what notes the orchestra is going to play. This is called composing. But last night, the Composer was not muttering. He was not humming. He was not moving, or even breathing. This is called decomposing."
"Taking one's chances is like taking a bath, because sometimes you end up feeling comfortable and warm, and sometimes there is something terrible lurking around that you cannot see until it is too late and you can do nothing else but scream and cling to a plastic duck."
"One of the world's most popular entertainments is a deck of cards, which contains thirteen each of four suits, highlighted by kings, queens, and jacks who are possibly the queen's younger, more attractive boyfriends."
"One of the world's most tiresome questions is what object one would bring to a deserted island, because people always answer a deck of cards or Anna Karenina when the obvious answer is a well-equipped boat and a crew to sail me off the island and back home where I can play all the card games and read all the Russian novels I want."
"It is very unnerving to be proven wrong, particularly when you are really right and the person who is really wrong is proving you wrong and proving himself, wrongly, right. Right?"
"If an optimist had his left arm chewed off by an alligator, he might say in a pleasant and hopeful voice, 'Well this isn't too bad. I don't have a left arm anymore, but at least nobody will ever ask me if I'm left-handed or right-handed'. Most of us would say something more along the lines of 'Aaaaaa! My arm! My arm!'"
"You know, there's a big world out there filled with desperate orphans who would gladly swim across an ocean of thumbtacks, just to be eclipsed by the long shadow that is cast by my accomplishments."
"In love, as in life, one misheard word can be tremendously important. If you tell someone you love them, for instance, you must be absolutely certain that they have replied 'I love you back', and not 'I love your back', before you continue the conversation."
"Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby ― awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess."
"The book was long, and difficult to read, and Klaus became more and more tired as the night wore on. Occasionally his eyes would close. He found himself reading the same sentence over and over. He found himself reading the same sentence over and over. He found himself reading the same sentence over and over."
Quotes From a Series of Unfortunate Events

"Miracles are like meatballs, because nobody can exactly agree on what they are made of, where they come from, or how often they should appear."
"But one type of book that practically no one likes to read is a book about the law. Books about the law are notorious for being very long, very dull, and very difficult to read. This is one reason many lawyers make heaps of money. The money is an incentive - the word incentive here means an offered reward to persuade you to do something you don't want to do - to read long, dull, and difficult books."
"I suppose I'll have to add the force of gravity to my list of enemies."
"As I am sure you know, when people say 'It's my pleasure', they usually mean something along the lines of, 'There's nothing on Earth I would rather do less' ..."
"Just about everything in this world is easier said than done, with the exception of systematically assisting Sisyphus's stealthy, cyst-susceptible sister, which is easier done than said."
"There is no worse sound in the world than someone who cannot play the violin but insists on doing so anyway."
"The sad truth is the truth is sad."
"I'm sure you have heard it said, that appearance does not matter so much, and that it is what's on the inside that counts. This is, of course, utter nonsense, because if it were true then people who were good on the inside would never have to comb their hair or take a bath, and the whole world would smell even worse than it already does."
"For some stories, it's easy. The moral of The Three Bears, for instance, is 'Never break into someone else's house.' The moral of Snow White is 'Never eat apples.' The moral of World War I is 'Never assassinate Archduke Ferdinand'."
"It was darker than a pitch-black panther, covered in tar, eating black licorice at the very bottom of the deepest part of the Black Sea."
The sheer wit and ingenious style of writing that the author employs in his books is simply inimitable. It isn't a surprise that the most famous writings by Lemony Snicket, A Series of Unfortunate Events has managed to sell sixty million copies, and has been translated into forty-one different languages, making it one of the best-selling children's books.
For us die-hard fans, no matter how many books are written, we will still be left wanting for more.