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52 Humorous Spanish Sayings and Phrases

Buzzle Staff
Spanish contains some of the funniest yet effective sayings and phrases. Here is a list of 52 humorous Spanish phrases.

Please Remember

European Spanish, also known as Castellano, is very different from the dialect spoken in Latin and South America. It goes without saying that the slangs used in these countries differ as well. Do not, at any point of time, use funny phrases where you are not supposed to, for they could have a completely different meaning otherwise.
Spanish is a lovely, musical language. Did you know that it is one of the most widely-spoken languages in the world? It has extensive grammar and just like English, contains some funny phrases as well. Of course, the fun element is just for the sake of a few laughs, however, each phrase/saying has a deeper meaning.
Mostly, they convey some of life's important lessons. If you ever travel to the countries that speak Spanish, you might like to try out some of the sayings given below. Remember though, there is a way of saying them. It should sound funny, not vulgar. Some funny Spanish phrases and sayings are given in the paragraphs below.

Hilarious Spanish Phrases

Tener la cola sucia

Literal Translation: To have a dirty tail
Actual Meaning: To know that one has done something wrong
Papando moscas

Literal Translation: Catching flies
Actual Meaning: Day-dreaming
Echando la hueva

Literal Translation: Throwing the egg
Actual Meaning: Being very lazy for now
Feliz como una lombriz

Literal Translation: As happy as a worm
Actual Meaning: As happy as a clam
Meter la pata

Literal Translation: To put one's paw/foot in it
Actual Meaning: To screw up
¿Y que huevada?

Literal Translation: And what shit?
Actual Meaning: What the hell is going on?
Tirar los galgos

Literal Translation: To pull the greyhounds
Actual Meaning: To flirt with someone
Más loco que una cabra con pollitos

Literal Translation: Crazier than a goat with chicks
Actual Meaning: To be absolutely crazy
Hablar hasta por los codos

Literal Translation: Talking up a storm
Actual Meaning: To keep talking continuously to everyone who listens
Se lució chayote

Literal Translation: To show off a chayote (tasteless Mexican fruit)
Actual Meaning: To show off completely
Más feo que el culo de un mono

Literal Translation: Uglier than the butt of a monkey
Actual Meaning: To be really ugly
Poner los cuernos

Literal Translation: To put horns on someone
Actual Meaning: To cheat/be unfaithful to someone

Hilarious Spanish Sayings

Con el dinero baila el perro.

Literal Translation: With money, the dog will dance.
Actual Meaning: Anything is possible with money.
No hay burro calvo, ni calabaza con pelo.

Literal Translation: There is no bald donkey, neither pumpkin with hair.
Actual Meaning: Speak up about what you know, do whatever you can do.
El ladron que roba a otro ladron tiene cien años de perdon.

Literal Translation: The robber who robs another robber gets one hundred years of pardon.
Actual Meaning: If you steal from a thief, it is not equivalent to a crime.
Lavar puercos con jabón es perder tiempo y jabón.

Literal Translation: Washing pigs with soap is to lose time and soap.
Actual Meaning: Certain things mean a complete waste of time.
Donde un jaguar ruge, no hay burro con reumatismo.

Literal Translation: Where a jaguar roars, there is no donkey with rheumatism.
Actual Meaning: Necessity is the mother of invention.
De que el escribiente es malo, le echa la culpa a la pluma.

Literal Translation: A writer who is bad always blames his pen.
Actual Meaning: Some people always blame others for their own misfortunes.
En boca cerrada no entran moscas.

Literal Translation: Flies do not enter a closed mouth.
Actual Meaning: It is better not to speak anything instead of speaking up and being called a fool.
Santa Rita Rita, Rita; lo que se da no se quita.

Literal Translation: Holy Rita Rita, Rita; what is given is not removed.
Actual Meaning: Never ask back for a gift which you have already given.
No esperar lo inesperado no hace que lo inesperado se convierta en lo esperado?

Literal Translation: Doesn't expecting that which is not expected make the unexpected be what is expected?
Actual Meaning: Expecting something that may not happen may result in the same happening with the least expectation.
El amor es como el WI-FI, a medida que te alejas, pierde intensidad.

Literal Translation: Love it's just like Wi-Fi, as you go further away, it loses its intensity.
Actual Meaning: Love is like a Wi-Fi connection, as you drift further from love, the effect is lost.
Dando y dando, pajarito volando.

Literal Translation: Giving and giving, the bird is flying.
Actual Meaning: Scratch my back, and I will do the same for you.
La burocracia es un mecanismo gigante operado por pigmeos.

Literal Translation: Bureaucracy is a giant mechanism operated by pygmies.
Actual Meaning: The big shots in politics use bureaucracy as a tool.
El cambio es inevitable, excepto cuando se trata de de una máquina expendedora.

Literal Translation: Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Actual Meaning: Some things just do not change.

Suegra, ni aun de azúcar es buena.

Literal Translation: A mother-in-law, even if made of sugar, would still be bitter.
Actual Meaning: For a daughter-in-law, her mother-in-law will always be a stern figure.
De cuerdo y loco todos tenemos un poco.

Literal Translation: Of sanity and craziness, we all have a little.
Actual Meaning: All of us behave in a sane or insane manner depending on the situation.
Él que tiene una esposa hermoso, un castillo en el río, o un viñedo en el borde de la carretera nunca está sin guerra.

Literal Translation: He who has a beautiful wife, a castle in the river, or a vineyard in the edge of the highway, is never without a war.
Actual Meaning: When we have all that we need and more, we are always at a risk of losing it.

Si su esposa le dice tirarlo de un precipicio, ora a Dios que es un bajo uno.

Literal Translation: If your wife tells you to throw yourself off a cliff, pray to God that it is a low one.
Actual Meaning: You have to obey your wife!
La experiencia es algo que no se tiene hasta poco después de que se necesita.

Literal Translation: Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
Actual Meaning: You get experience only when you need it.
Perdona a tus enemigos, pero recuerda sus nombres!

Literal Translation: Forgive your enemies, but remember their names!
Actual Meaning: Forgive those who have hurt you, but do not forget, for they may strike again.
Te metiste en camisa de once baras.

Literal Translation: You've put on a shirt made of eleven sticks.
Actual Meaning: You are doing more than you can.
Para todo mal, mezcal, para toda bien, tambien.

Literal Translation: For every ill, drink Mezcal. Do the same for everything good as well.
Actual Meaning: Perhaps Mezcal may treat the negatives around you, the way it treats the illnesses.
Vale, puedes quedarte a mi lado, siempre que no hables sobre el clima.

Literal Translation: OK, you can stand next to me as long as you don't talk about the weather.
Actual Meaning: We can be on talking terms as long as you do not speak of something I dislike.
Un buen vecino es el que no le pone clave al Wi-Fi.

Literal Translation: A good neighbor is someone who leaves free Wi-Fi.
Actual Meaning: A good neighbor is someone who lets you use his resources for free, or rather, who helps you without expectation.
Pocas mujeres admiten su edad. Pocos hombres actuan acorde a su edad.

Literal Translation: Few women admit their age. Few men act their age.
Actual Meaning: Women hardly admit their true age, while men hardly behave how they are supposed to behave for their age.

La mona aunque se vista de seda, mona se queda.

Literal Translation: Although a monkey dresses in silk, it stays a monkey.
Actual Meaning: Come what may, you cannot change the original nature of a person.
Lo dijo de labios para fuera.

Literal Translation: He said it from the lips outwards.
Actual Meaning: He didn't really mean what he said, rather, he was being sarcastic.
Tiene más lana que un borrego.

Literal Translation: He has more wool than a lamb.
Actual Meaning: He has plenty of money.
Es Más loco que una cabra con pollitos.

Literal Translation: He is crazier than a goat with chicks.
Actual Meaning: He is absolutely crazy.
Me pica el bagre.

Literal Translation: The catfish bites me.
Actual Meaning: I am very hungry/I have a tickling sensation in my tummy.
Sabe que tiene la cola sucia.

Literal Translation: She knows she has a dirty tail.
Actual Meaning: She knows she did something wrong.

Hilarious Pick-up Lines

Given below are some funny Spanish pick-up lines. Know that while they may be funny from someone's perspective, others could have a totally different stand. Use them at your own risk, and if you do, conduct yourself accordingly so that you are not misunderstood.
Mi bebida se siente sola. ¿Te gustaría acompañarme con la tuya?
My drink is getting lonely. Would you like to join me with yours?
Hola, soy un ladrón, y estoy aquí para robar tu corazón.
Hello, I'm a thief, and I'm here to steal your heart.
Si la belleza fuera delito, yo te hubiera dado cadena perpetua.
If beauty was a crime, you would deserve life in prison.
Hola Acabo de esta realidad, pero usted busca mucho al igual que mi próxima novia.
Hi, I just realized this, but you look so much like my next girlfriend.
¿Que hace una chica tan buena como tù en una mente tan sucia como la mìa?
What's a nice girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine?
Ni aunque el cielo fuera hecho de papel y los océanos de tinta, no habría lugar para escribir lo que me haces sentir.
You look really hot! You must be the real reason for global warming.
Si amarte fuera trabajo, no existiria el desempleo.
If loving you were a job, there would be no unemployment.
Deberias caminar en la sombra porque los bombones derriten en el sol.
You should walk in the shade because chocolate melts in the sun.
¿Estás perdido? Porque el cielo es un largo camino desde aquí.
Are you lost? Because heaven's a long way from here.
Si fuera superman te llevaría volando, pero como no lo soy te acompaño caminando.
If I were superman I would take you flying, but since I'm not I'll walk you home.
Please, always keep in mind, that a language needs to be understood at the native level. You cannot just go to a stranger and say the phrases that come to your mind, nor can you casually enter a bar and repeat the above pick up lines to any girl out there. There is a certain way these phrases are said, and if you are diffident, do not go for it.
If you do so, make sure you use them at the right situation, do not let people misunderstand what you are saying, it might be very humiliating. And please, please use the pick up lines in an appropriate way, lest the girl/guy slaps you in anger (And I am not going to take any responsibility for that!).